She thought this was a cheap shot, which of course it is.īut I pointed out that this criticism really wasn’t entirely off the mark, because these people exist and are in fact very common. She was annoyed at a blog that criticized a supposed group of people who jumped into marriage unreflectively because they felt divorce was an easy and low cost escape if it didn’t go well. I was talking to a friend on Facebook about marriage (I’ll default to anonymous she can identify herself in comments if she wants). Then you end up with dueling death spirals in which two separate communities become more and more certain of their own position.
It’s much easier to join a group that celebrates your natural proclivities than one that demands you fight against them. The first dynamic definitely sometimes exists, and in fact I was cued in to this whole issue from a friend in the first situation who was genuinely helped by Objectivism.īut I think the second dynamic is usually more common. Meanwhile, the people who could really have benefitted from Objectivism, the people who feel guilted into living for others all the time while ignoring their own needs, are off in some kind of effective charity group, egging each other on to be even more self-destructively altruistic. They join Objectivism, egg each other on, and become even more selfish still.
The people who are already too selfish see an opportunity to be selfish with a halo. Or second, Objectivism might be a vicious cycle. Gradually they all become psychologically healthier people. People who aren’t selfish enough realize they need more selfishness in their lives, join the Objectivists, and support each other as they work to overcome their inbuilt disposition to ignore their own needs. You probably end up more selfish than you were before you joined the Objectivists.Ĭonsider two possible interpretations of that result.įirst, Objectivism might be a successful support group. You follow lots of Objectivist blogs that give you strong arguments for selfishness, hear lots of anecdotes of people being hurt by excessive altruism, and get exposed to any studies that seem to support the pro-selfishness point of view. Most of these groups have the stated purpose of moving society as a whole, but their primary short-term effect is to change the opinions of their members.įor example, maybe you join the Objectivist movement. Some religious groups and the effective altruism movement push one side of charity-selfishness, the Objectivists push the other. The fat acceptance movement pushes one side of the diet-health one and the American Heart Association pushes the other. Most obviously, the Libertarian Party pushes one side of the political-regulation one and the Communist Party pushes the other. People often form groups based on pushing one or another side of these dichotomies. Or “You need to be less selfish and more considerate of the needs of others” versus “You can’t live for others all the time, you need to remember you deserve to be happy as well.” Or “You need to be more conscious of how your actions in social situations can make other people uncomfortable and violate their boundaries” versus “You need to overcome your social phobia by realizing that most interactions go well and that probably talking to people won’t always make them hate you and cause you to be ostracized forever.”
#Slate advice professional#
Or “Follow your dreams, you don’t want to be working forever at a job you hate”, versus “Your dream of becoming a professional cosplayer may not be the best way to ensure a secure future for your family, go into petroleum engineering instead.” Or “You need to pay more attention to your diet or you’ll end up very unhealthy” versus “You need to pay less attention to your weight or you’ll end up in a spiral of shame and self-loathing and at risk of eating disorders.”
#Slate advice free#
Or “You need to remember that the government can’t solve all problems and that some regulations are counterproductive” versus “You need to remember that the free market can’t solve all problems and that some regulations are necessary.” That lots of the advice people give is useful for some people, but that the opposite advice is useful for other people.įor example, “You need to stop being so hard on yourself, remember you are your own worst critic” versus “Stop making excuses for yourself, you will never be able to change until you admit you’ve hit bottom.”
Suppose a lot of that stuff about bravery debates is right.
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